Conflict is inevitable. Jesus said in John 16:33, " “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Whether it is between husband & wife, parent & child or co-workers, conflict is a part of our everyday life.
The goal of Matthew 18 Ministries is to give Believers the guidelines they need to resolve conflict in a scriptural way. So this site is based on the assumption that the two (or more) individuals involved in the conflict are willing to submit to the Lord's will, as stated in His Word. It's easy to say Jesus is Lord, but much harder to act upon. The old adage about "walking the talk" is never more challenging than when you are in the midst of resolving a conflict. If only one of the two persons involved in the conflict is willing to follow the Biblical guidelines, then you are at an impasse and will have no choice but to wait for them to mature. There is probably no more frustrating process than waiting, especially when the process of reconciliation is actually quite simple. But because of pride, fear, laziness or sometimes even mental illness, the process can become bogged down to the point of regression. Sometimes two steps forward and one step back is all you can accomplish. Other times there is no solution at all because one party refuses to follow scriptural guidelines. Your only option at that point is to pray and be patient and hope that they will eventually come to their senses like the Prodigal Son.
This site will address most major types of conflict between various people groups. So the specific issues will have specific answers. But there are general principles that address dealing with conflict that are applicable in almost any disagreement and can be summed up into three basic categories:
1) WHY
Golden Rule and Romans 12
Why? Why bother? Why not just "pretend" that everything is OK and hope for the best? Jesus gives us the cornerstone of proper human behavior (otherwise know as the "Golden Rule") in Matthew 7:12, "So in everything, do unto others what you would have them do unto you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." Would you want others to turn a blind eye to your struggles? Of course not! We should all be as concerned for others as we are for ourselves. Conflict is bad for both parties, so we should want and seek peace for all.
Paul further expounds on this principle in Romans 12:18, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."
2) HOW
Matthew 18:15
In Matt 18, Jesus give us the basic "ground rules" for resolving conflict between two believers:
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector."
There are differing opinions on how to "tell it to the church" but this is the basic framework from which we must build our bridge of reconciliation.
3) WHEN
Matthew 5:23 and Ephesians 4:26
Jesus said in Matthew 5:23, "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift."
So the mandate is quite clear. When do we resolve conflict? Whenever we get around to it? Whenever we "feel" like it? Whenever we get the time? No...Jesus said resolve it NOW.
Paul agrees in Ephesians 4:26, “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."
The basic guideline that we are given by Scripture is to resolve conflict the moment that you are aware of its existence. Do not delay, for if you do, you will give the devil a "foothold." In other words, every moment that you allow the conflict to exist, you are giving the enemy an opportunity to make it grow, with the potential of it exploding into something out of control. Making mountains out of mole hills is one of Satan's specialties.
So pick your conflict category and apply God's Principles for conflict resolution and start enjoying life more fully!
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